Exchange of Heart

Our Year With Maite

By Mandy Marger

Like most good things, sponsoring an exchange student was not planned. A local Facebook group published a post looking for a family to take in an exchange student in our school district. The year had already started, and her first family had not worked out as expected. After reaching out to ask for how long, my family quickly made the decision to help.

Approval Process & Preparation
Because of the emergency situation, the approval process was pretty rapid, but it was still extremely thorough. The application was detailed and extensive but not tedious. My husband and I submitted background checks and scheduled an in-person home visit. Taryn Evans, the local coordinator for EF (Education First) Exchange was very helpful and addressed all our questions and concerns.

As we moved through the process, though we felt called to move forward, the doubt of feasibility was ever present. We believed ourselves to be very busy with our own sixth-grade twins, work, and other sport and social engagements, and we wondered how we could layer another active life into our family schedule. In talking to Taryn, we discovered that she had a full-time job and five children (including twin toddlers and a special-needs teen), and she took in two exchange students at the same time. Thus, we had no excuse to not be able to make this work.

Since we had recently redecorated our guest bedroom, our house was ready. Soon, a 16-year-old girl from the Basque region of northern Spain would move into our home. For many reasons, we were apprehensive. After her shaky start, we expected a scared, wounded young girl. But instead, brave Maite showed up, and after a brief welcome and house tour, she began folding the family underwear alongside me on the couch.

Getting to Know Our Exchange  Student
We were on our best behavior in the early days keeping things neat, being courteous to one another, eating healthy home-cooked meals, and acting as a family should. We also got to know Maites parents via Facebook and FaceTime, and of course, we quizzed her about her home and culture.

However, real life couldnt wait long, and the usual stresses of a dirty house, inevitable family conflicts, and our casual everyday way of living reemerged. What I thought would be awkward, Maite made easy. One night, after she had lived with us a short while, she was headed downstairs to her room for the evening, and we wished each other a good night. I thought of my own children, and how I still tucked them in every night. If my kids were far away, Id hope someone would give them that physical reminder of love, so I went downstairs. I told Maite I could no longer send her to bed without a hug, and so we did.

School Life
Because of her outgoing nature, Maite was quick to make friends. She was also a great student. EF brings in all students as juniors, so they may participate in upperclassmen activities, and the organization has strict academic expectations. She was also a successful member of the varsity swim and track teams.

As the year went on, Maite had more opportunities for typical American teen activities and attended parties and hung out with friends. Having been unexpectedly thrust into parenting a high school teenager, my husband and I found ourselves worrying about unfamiliar things like new friends, teen drivers, and staying out too late. Tragically, a fellow student was killed in an accident. Maite had met him on a few occasions and had become close to some of his friends. She found herself a stranger, thousands of miles from home, surrounded by kids who were affected in ways they were too young to understand or handle. We, too, were unprepared, but we connected with Maites parents from afar and rallied around her to provide support.

Part of the Family
From the beginning, Maite was great at making herself a part of our family. She became a true sibling to our twins, both supporting and ribbing them in good measure. Many other exchange students in the area had host siblings or fellow exchange students in the house that were close to the same age, whereas Maite only had our 11-year-old twins to keep her company. One evening, I apologized that we didnt have any friends in the house like other exchange students had. From her heart, Maite replied, I do have friends; theyre upstairs sleeping.

My husband and I have grown to feel the same protective instinct for Maite as we do for our biological children. Ive enjoyed many mature talks with her about her perspective on life, her culture, and her future. I kept hugging her good night every evening, and I sent her away each morning with a kiss on the cheek and a love you.

Whats Next?
As the end of the school year drew near, we avoided talking about what came next. We felt the impending loss we were going to lose a family member. We were lucky that Maite could join us on one final family trip, and we enjoyed a week at the beach as one big happy family. Two days later, we packed up a years worth of memories into bulging suitcases, said tearful goodbyes, and sent our daughter home.

Were already making plans to visit Maite and her family in Spain in a year. What began as a casual Facebook comment became such a good experience that we decided to do it again for the 2019-20 school year. This time, were bringing in a brother named David, with whom we already video chat Maite included. By design, hes also from northern Spain, so in future travels to see our EF kids, we can enjoy large family reunions near the Bay of Biscay.

For more information about hosting a foreign exchange student with EF Exchange, contact Taryn Evans at 678-448-8631 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You can also visit EFExchangeYear.org.